Lean In

Lisa Rainsberger, a former Olympic distance runner and the winner of the 1985 Boston Marathon said: “In every work out there comes a moment where you have to decide to keep pushing hard – through the doubt, discomfort and fear of the pain. You have two choices at this point – to push through and to mentally divorce you mind of the doubt, discomfort or fear or you can surrender.”

The legendary Vince Lombardi said “mental toughness is essential to success,” and Muhammad Ali said, “I hated every minute of training, but I said…don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life a champion.”

… “don’t quit. Suffer now.”

Here’s where I think we start.

Mental toughness isn’t something you’re born with. It’s natural instinct to avoid pain.

Mental toughness is learned. How? Practice.

David Goggins, an American ultramarathon runner, triathlete, ultra-distance cyclist and former world record holder said, “It hurts, but that’s all it does. The most difficult part of the training is training your mind. You build calluses on your feet to endure the road. You build calluses on your mind to endure the pain. There’s only one way to do that. You have to get out there and run.”

Aside from being elite level athletes and champions, what do Rainsberger, Ali and Goggins all have in common? They started by acknowleding that pain, discomfort, even suffering would be present in their pursuit.

I remember that turning point for me – we all have one, I think. I stood at the cross roads, at the age of 14 after a disappointment and a bit of maturity, thinking “….wow, this is gonna be really hard.”

It was like all the sudden, I came to terms with what it would take to chase my goals – and it suddenly looked like an uphill climb. A steep one.

I remember taping an Anson Dorrance quote to my wall that read : “The vision of a champion I someone who is bent over, drenched in sweat, at the point of exhaustion, when no one else is watching.”

It was the realization that – it’s gonna hurt.

…And that most people stop upon the arrival of discomfort.

The question for the athlete is : do you want to be like most people?

Learning how to push through discomfort started with acknowledging that pain would be present and accepting that there was no way to avoid this. Once I accepted this, I could relax.

The energy that it takes to perform at a high level in sports is immense. If we fight against the pain or discomfort, we waste energy. We tense up. If we accept its presence, we let go – we lean in.

Next, I had to learn how to disassociate a bit. What I mean by this is, I had to learn where to put my focus. Often times, when discomfort starts to set in, it demands our attention. I had to learn how to redirect my attention elsewhere – a focal point, a word, a thought, a repetitive phrase – something. This also keeps me present. Staying present has been critical for me. If I set out to run ten 120’s or a mile in 6:30, I can’t think about the entirety of what I’m doing. I think about that 120. Or that lap or that minute. For me, if look at the entirety of what I’m about to do it’s overwhelming. But, by breaking it up, step by step, I complete the task at hand before I know it.

I think attitude is critical as well. You can either feel sorry for yourself or embrace your strength. That choice is always present. If you embrace your strength there’s a certain power that comes. For me, it’s always been a competition with self :

Can you do one more?

Can you do this one faster?

Can you make this one better?

Can you see this as a challenge instead of a punishment?

Soccer has always been my greatest teacher. So much of what I’ve lived, I’ve been able to understand through the lessons of the game, and whenever I write, I enjoy drawing parallels between the lessons of the game and the lessons in life.

For me, this lesson – the lesson of fighting through discomfort, and having faith in yourself and in the light at the end of the tunnel has transferred in so many ways in my life.

Life presents it’s fair share of emotional discomfort. We go through hard things – losses, heartbreaks, illnesses, injuries, major changes, disappointments and hardships of all kinds.

When the hard things of life present themselves, we find ourselves in the same place as we do during our runs – do we quit or persevere?

We can quit in all kinds of ways – we can give up, distract ourselves, settle, run away, isolate, etc. And the result is the same – if we quit on our run, we stay where we are. We don’t go any further, get any better. We settle for mediocrity – we settle to stay the same.

If we push, we earn the results, we reap the benefits and we change for the better.

We sacrifice the temporary for the long term. And in that process, we learn how to be comfortable being uncomfortable.

The same is true in life. When things present themselves – whether they be internal or external, we have the choice to face them, go through them, and come out the other side, or we can stay where we’re at. I’m willing to bet, that pushing through is not gonna feel good, but it’s gonna be worth it.

The first step is always the same – acknowledging and accepting the things that come up in life.

In sport, we’re committed to physical improvement – we want that 6:40 mile to get down to 6:30 and then to 6:20. We want to find that far post in striking and finishing practice 8 out of 10 times and then 9 out of 10 times and then 10 out of 10 times. We want results!

When we talk about emotional or spiritual growth, sometimes it’s not as easy to gauge. And sometimes, believe it or not, it’s more painful.

When we’re faced with the things in our lives that need to change, whether it be people, places, things, it’s often us that needs to change first. That’s an inside job – that’s a job that requires us to acknowledge and accept the things about ourselves that we dislike and the things we have to address. If we deny their presence or try to avoid them, we earn nothing.

It’s the great paradox of acceptance. The fight to control, takes us to the place where we have no control – it intensifies the battle. Acceptance leads us to the freedom to change.

Dissociation transfers in a different way. This has actually not been a good tool for emotional growth – dissociation is tool I can run to in denial. But, part of dissociation when pushing through exertion pain, is the tool of thought – what you focus on.

The power of focus is enormous when confronted with personal growth. Focusing on faith, employing positive thought patterns – all critical.

There also has to be the belief in what we’re doing – a connection in understanding that the process is worth it.

Muhammed Ali started with, “don’t quit. Suffer now…” but, that’s not where he ends. He continues, “and live the rest of your life a champion.”
A champion is defined as “a person who has defeated or surpassed all rivals in competition…”

I am my only real rival.

You are your only real rival.

Get better.

Grow.

Change.

Acknowledge. Accept. Lean in. Push through. Conquer.

Be the champion, you already are. On and off the field.