The Zode in the Road
Did I ever tell you about the young Zode,
Who came to two signs at the fork in the road?
One said to Place One, and the other, Place Two.
So the Zode had to make up his mind what to do.
Well…the Zode scratched his head, and his chin and his pants.
And he said to himself, “I’ll be taking a chance
If I go to Place One. Now, that place may be hot!
And so, how do I know if I’ll like it or not?
On the other hand though, I’ll be sort of a fool
If I go to Place Two and find it too cool.
In that case I may catch a chill and turn blue!
So, maybe Place One is the best, not Place Two,
But then again, what if Place One is too high?
I may catch a terrible earache and die!
So Place Two may be best! On the other hand though…
What might happen to me if Place Two is too low?
I might get some very strange pain in my toe!
So Place One may be best,” and he started to go.
Then he stopped, and he said, “On the other hand
though….
On the other hand…other hand…other hand though…”
And for 36 hours and a half that poor Zode
Made starts and made stops at the fork in the road.
Saying, “Don’t take a chance. No! You may not be
right.”
Then he got an idea that was wonderfully bright!
“Play safe!” cried the Zode. “I’ll play safe. I’m no dunce!
I’ll simply start out for both places at once!”
And that’s how the Zode who would not take a chance
Got no place at all with a split in his pants.
It’s been said that we teach what we most need to learn.
The first time I heard the phrase “paralysis by analysis” I was sitting in All Children’s Johns Hopkins in St. Petersburg, Florida during a lecture at one of my Warrior Soccer Training Camps. An experienced and successful sports psychologist delivered the message, and there I sat, dedicated to my mission to educate young players and aid them in their pursuit in player development, reflecting on my own experience.
I looked around the room at players that I trained and thought “please get this.”
I saw players who I worked with for years, teaching and grooming their one versus one moves, knowing that they had a tool kit of at least 20 well practiced, efficient moves, yet chose not to use any of them in the heat of competition.
I saw players who complained they choked during big games. Players who didn’t perform to their ability during tryouts, and players who I could see get into their own heads during training or games.
Why could I recognize this? Why do I feel such a strong desire to introduce players to the tools and education now? Because I understand the struggle of overthinking, and I believe strongly that what and how you think will determine what kind of experience you have.
I think to some capacity most athletes have experienced overthinking at some time during their careers.
So, why do we overthink and how do we stop?
I can only speak from personal experience, and for me this is an ongoing practice.
Overthinking is definitely a struggle.
If I look at the root causes of overthinking it boils down to fear and the illusion of control. This is on the field and off the field.
On the field, we start to think about too many things – what’s my coach thinking? Am I going to get subbed? Why didn’t I start? How could I miss that shot? Why did I pass instead of taking that player on? I need to get the ball. I have to do something great.
….notice something similar about all of these things? They’re things that are out of our control, things that are negative, or things that weigh us down with pressure. ……to be honest, they’re things that don’t matter. They place us in bondage and rob us of our experience.
What your coach is thinking and your playing time – they’re out of your control entirely. You can impact these things by your actions, but you can’t control them.
At it’s root, is the fear. Fear of inadequacy, rejection, unworthiness, loss of position/time, etc….
“How could I…”, and “why did/didn’t I…” – that’s in the past…move on. Think about the present thing – the next thing.
“I need to get the ball” and “I have to do something great” – ok, let that go. Have the thought and move on. Think more along the lines of the action to get the ball. Can you show to the ball or look for a ball into space. Refocus to bring that into being.
The solution, at least for me, to overthinking is simplifying. Sometimes that requires a stop action in the midst of competition – literally visualizing a stop button in the middle of my forehead and imagining myself pushing it. Sounds silly, but it’s one of the best suggestions my sports psychologist in Baltimore ever gave me.
The second thing that helps me is visualization and meditation. Prior to playing, a guided visualization with breathing techniques, and affirmations calms my thoughts and reduces performance anxiety. It’s been critical. Had I utilized this more during times where I was mentally exhausting myself, I think I would have experienced relief.
Refocusing on the simple things is helpful as well. In competition, if you find yourself thinking about five hundred things at once, or you find yourself overthinking a specific action (for example shooting: shooting over, kicking the ground, missing the ball, mishitting, shooting wide), refocus with one phrase – “drive it” “run through” whatever. I’ve found that this brings me back to being present. It returns my mind to what I’m doing.
And finally, faith – having faith that your body knows what to do. If you’ve trained properly, your body has a mind of it’s own. All the skills you need are stored and ready to be used. Your thinking only places a hindrance on your ability. Give yourself permission to just do.
In life, I think to some degree overthinking can be developed as a hypervigilance to self protect. We tie in old stories, old traumas, and past experiences, and we begin to believe that if we just think through every scenario we can prevent the bad things from happening.
When we talk about life, things get a little more complicated – there’s more layers, more at stake, and more involved.
I once heard a man say “I can pull up to a red light, look over and see a pretty woman and before the light turns green I have already imagined our meeting, our dating, our wedding, our marriage and our divorce.”
Who else is guilty of this?
We can exhaust ourselves with the stories we play out. Most times, if I start to question these stories instead of believing they’re reality, I can see exactly where they stem from.
Just like on the field, the more we allow overthinking to spiral, the more power it gains and the more paralyzed we become. For some of, we may react in overthinking – the opposite of paralysis, but still the result is the same. Paralysis and reacting out of our stories, both withhold us from accomplishing what we really want.
The solution is the same – stay present, keep it simple, have faith. Easier said than done, but It’s a daily practice. There are times, I am horrible at this, and times I’ve been better. I have to remind myself, it’s a choice and a discipline.
Faith requires us to accept uncertainty – We don’t know and we’re not in control. Our actions can certainly influence results, but in the end we’re not the director of all of life. And when I find myself overthinking, I’m trying to do just that – figure it all out and direct. The question for me can’t be, what’s going to happen. It needs to be, what can I do today? What can I do right now? What’s the next right thing?
Sometimes I find I know exactly what I need to do and overthinking starts the minute I choose to talk myself out of doing what I know I need to do, because it’s hard or because I’m scared. At that moment, it takes mental strength to just say, this is right, this is what I’m doing, done.
There’s something to be said for trusting your gut too. Your first instinct is usually right. Your intuition is there for a reason – it doesn’t lie. We get into trouble when we want to question or change what we already know to be true. Intuition is a funny thing – sometimes we choose not to trust ourselves, because we want logic. We want proof. Sometimes, in an effort to get the logic and the proof, we just take ourselves down a road of heartache. Trust that your intuition is sometimes all the proof that you need.
I was talking to one of my very best friends, Sheree on the phone about this yesterday. She understands the concept of overthinking well, and she told me what her husband sometimes tells her “you know what – sometimes apples are just apples and oranges are just oranges.” We laughed. As simple as that sounds, sometimes there’s really no more to the story. It’s that cut and dry – that black and white. And even if it’s not, we can choose to accept that scenario in an effort to save our sanity and redirect our energy to something worthy of our time.
Finally, I think it’s important to remember that life is ever changing. Nothing is final – things change, circumstances change. If we decide to act in one direction, it doesn’t mean we are stuck there. Indecision, like the Zode, leaves us no where. Had the Zode just decided, he would have been one step closer to getting to where he wants to go.
In the end, it’s all for our good. Trust the process. If you find you’ve made a decision and you’re not where you want to be, make another decision. It’s all a ripple effect – but you have to choose. You have to act. Overthinking can lead to indecision and indecision leads us nowhere. Paralysis by analysis or action? We always have a choice.
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