When I was 22, I was given an assignment.
“I want you to write about why you’re afraid of success.”
“Afraid of success?” I asked.
“You mean afraid of failure?”
“Are you afraid of failure or success?” he asked.
“That’s where I’m confused,” I said.
“It feels like both. How can I be afraid of both?”
I tried to write on that subject.
I came up with theories, and answers that sounded appropriate, but nothing ever felt like I was unlocking the door to truth.
Ten years later, and I think I can write that paper.
It was neither “success” nor “failure” that I feared – it was rejection.
And whether it’s “success” or “failure,” rejection can ensue.
Not from the right people.
Or the real people.
Or the people who unconditionally love you.
But it’s likely to be there in some form, from someone.
And we all don’t fear rejection in the same way, do we?
Some people may fear rejection in social circles.
Some in matters of relationship.
Some in their professional lives.
But usually, something is tied to that.
Your identity.
Your worthiness.
Your sense of belonging.
Your own self-image.
The truth is, rejection in every capacity – minor and major, is just a part of life.
And the even greater reality is, we have control over how we perceive rejection.
Just don’t.
In any situation, just don’t take it personally.
Ask if there’s a way you can use it to better yourself.
Because fearing rejection doesn’t serve us.
It keeps us small.
This week, the teacher of my cycle class – someone whom I admire and respect, said:
“What are you saving it for? Use it. Don’t walk out of here with more left to give.”
Isn’t that life?
What are we saving it for?
Our gifts?
Our talents?
Our voices?
Our thoughts?
Our ideas?
Liz Gilbert once said, the older she gets the less she cares about originality and the more she cares about authenticity.
Only you, can be, do, say, share, love, create, in the way that you are. No one else. And the world needs every unique interpretation and contribution.
If we are to test ourselves –
Go after our dreams –
Face up to our biggest fears –
Live up to our potential –
Make a difference in the world –
We will have to continuously, deliberately and willingly step into discomfort.
Risk rejection.
Any athlete knows this with progress.
Improvement only comes when we find our edge, and push against until we push through it.
Warrior Soccer Training 