Ancient Greek culture had seven words for love.
1. “Eros: Love of the body,” rooted in beauty, lust and sexual attraction.
2. “Philia: Love of the mind” also known as brotherly love.
3. “Ludus: Playful love,” a “child-like and fun kind of love,” (Naim).
4. “Pragma: Longstanding love,” “the everlasting love between a married couple.”
5. “Agape: Love of the soul,” selfless and for all humanity; unconditional love.
6. “Philautia : Love of the self,” which the Greeks divided into two types, love that is selfish, and healthy love for self.
7. “Storage: Love of the child,” a natural and effortless love that a parent has for a child.
The dictionary defines love as “an intense feeling of deep affection; a great interest and pleasure in something; a deep romantic or sexual attraction to someone.”
Synonyms include : “fondness, tenderness, intimacy, adoration, passion, desire, lust, infatuation, friendship, kindness, intrigue, affair, amour, liking, zeal, appreciation.”
Verbs include: to “be infatuated with, smitten with, passionate about, care very much for, hold very dear, treasure.”
In some Christian circles, you’ll hear the exact opposite – love is not a feeling, but a choice. You choose to love people.
The New Testament calls love patient and kind, describing it as void of envy, boasting and pride. It also say love “does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails,” (1Corinthians, 13:4-8).
And in 1 John 4, God is referred to as love.
According to Buddah, ‘love is one of the paths to full spiritual liberation.’ In Buddhism, the kind of love that is taught is one characterized by freedom. ‘Love that involves clinging, lust, confusion, neediness, fear, or grasping to self would, in Buddhist terms be seen as expressions of bondage and limitation.’ The four kinds of love encouraged in Buddhist doctrine are lovingkindness, compassion, appreciative joy and equanimity,’” (Fronsdal).
Hinduism has the idea of Parra Brahma – spreading love.
And Judaism believes that love is covenantal.
I would argue that love is central to most world religions.
And if you’re Atheist or Agnostic, I feel confident saying that you too, have said “I love you,” or have been “in love.”
Philosophers all wrote about love – Socrates, Plato, Nietzsche, Kierkegaard, Sir Thomas Aquinas –
All with different views, and some with questionable life decisions regarding to love.
Kierkegaard, bailed on his bride just before the wedding because he felt he wasn’t up to the task, and it would disrupt his profession.
Nietzsche died alone.
Founding fathers of psychology, Freud and Jung both devoted study and thought to developing theories and psychoanalysis on love.
Poets and musicians have forged careers on the topic of love.
Our culture even take matters to court over love.
There’s the popular hashtag “love wins,” which was used to celebrate marriage equality
We say it’s a feeling.
We say it’s a choice.
We say love is blind.
We say love wins.
We say we love our friends.
Our significant others.
Our pets.
Our clothes.
Our God.
Our dinner.
A color, a place, a thing.
Love is a word we use to express our feelings towards the people we feel most passionately about –
And the thing we think is just kinda cool.
It’s used by people of different religions, cultures, backgrounds, genders and sexual identities.
Eskimos have 50 words for snow, and we use one word for something much more important, and rely solely on context.
We also tie things to love, don’t we?
“I’m doing this, because I love you.”
“I’m saying this, because I love you.”
We get these messages every day of our lives, shaping our perceptions of love and adding layers to our belief systems.
Oh, and then there’s “love languages.”
To date, there are five, (by 2032, there may be 55), described by author and radio host, Gary Chapman in his well known book “The 5 Love Languages.”
These are : Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, Quality Time and Physical Touch.
So here’s the thing –
Is there anything more universal than love?
Aren’t we all after it?
…this undefinable, multi layered, context driven, thing that seems to be very personal to the individual both by definition and by interpretation.
There’s a lot I don’t know for sure.
But there’s a few things I do know.
I want to be loved.
And I want to love well.
And so do you.
So what does love mean to you?
What’s true about love for you?
Are you loved well?
Do you love well?
How are your relationships different when it comes to love?
Do the people you say you love know that you love them?
Do you have a value system that defines love?
Have you attached things to love that aren’t love based on your definition?
How important is love to you?
As tacky, and annoying and commercialized as this very silly holiday is, I think it’s purpose can be thought provoking.
Because, if love is this important to everyone, surely we should spend some time reflecting on it’s meaning and significance in our lives.
Works Cited:
Fronsdal, Gil. “The Buddha’s Teachings on Love.” insightmeditationcenter.org
Naim, Rania. “The 7+ Types of Love You’ll Probably Experience In This Life: Discover all the different types of love in the world, from ancient Greek terms for love to modern types of love.” 31 March, 2019, https://thoughtcatalog.com
The Holy Bible. NIV. Grand Rapids, Michigan : Zondervan, 2005. Print.
sorenkierkegaard.org/Kierkegaard-letters-documents.html
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