“Do you see your life as something you create?
Or do you see your life as something happening to you?
-Rob Bell
Three years ago I had this revelation.
Was I creating?
Or was I coasting?
Had I stopped trying?
Dreaming?
Pursuing?
Most of my life, I was willful. Big dreams, and the belief that hard work would bring every dream to fruition.
For a while that worked.
Then it didn’t.
Road block, after road block, until I started to feel like I had no control over my destiny.
I began to see things as…
“Maybe dreams come true…
But don’t expect it…”
Dreamer to cynic.
A belief I was destined for greatness…
To, moments of…..“why am I here?”
When I left Florida, and returned to Baltimore, I felt like I was returning to roots.
Returning to self.
I had unfinished business, and while location doesn’t birth evolution to an inside job, the landscape caused the waves of my soul to move toward the shores of truth.
There are times when that sea rages.
And times when it’s calm .
There are times when the currents go out to sea…
And times where they return…
And in all these things, there are conditions that the sea reacts too —
The wind affects the waves.
The gravitational pull of the sun and the moon affects the waves.
But the sea is never still.
It keeps moving –
And responding –
And engaging with life.
This, like our souls, in constant motion and change.
This personal revelation, began with “there has to be more than this.”
I wrote about that in Brisbane.
Then it became, “Go get your life.”
From question to solution.
“You want more? Go get it.”
What’s the more that you want?
Like most of us, I don’t want to just coast.
Don’t we all want to thrive?
To squeeze every ounce of life out of this experience?
For life to be colorful, and full, and rich?
For our relationships to be authentic, and our time well spent?
Don’t we all want our professional lives to be meaningful, and to feel like we’re living up to our greatest potential?
No more, life happening.
Life does happen.
But, what we do, makes the difference.
I needed to remember that we still have some control.
Opting out, because we may not get what we want…?
We’re better than that.
All of us.
We deserve a chance.
I believe that God has a plan.
That everything in this life that is meant to be mine, will be mine, and everything in this life that is meant to be yours, will be yours.
But our job is to go get it, and when it doesn’t happen when we think it should happen, to know, that not now doesn’t always mean not ever.
I’ve been reflecting lately especially on that – timing.
God’s timing is sometimes really annoying.
If we listen, there are times we can feel His promises.
We believe something will come to pass in our lives.
But, when it doesn’t happen as quickly as we expect, we may wonder. We may doubt. We may even grow angry.
Do we ever stop to wonder if delay is actually blessing?
The example of “you wouldn’t give a baby keys to your car, would you?”
I’ve had some things in my life that have felt delayed.
You?
One in particular, that I can say today, the delay was a gift.
There are things I wasn’t ready for.
And while waiting, here’s what I learned:
How to go get my life…
How to stand on my own two feet…
How to be good to myself…
How to take personal responsibility for my decisions and their consequences…
How to choose things that serve me, instead of destroy me…
How to invest in relationships that are good, and authentic and meaningful…
I learned more about who I am, what I want, and what I’ll allow in my life…
I learned that we attract people because of who we are …
That if we want something different, we should work on becoming…
And three years later, I found myself in a place where I didn’t have all the things I wanted, but all the things I needed.
I found myself in a place where I was good with myself….
Lacking and wanting for nothing.
And the funny thing is…
Then, God said ok.
Ok, to some of the things I still wanted, but was content without.
The lesson is not about trying to get what we want.
Or even getting what we want.
The lesson is, trusting that we will always have what we need.
The only truth I really returned to when those waves moved back to shore, is that God knows, I don’t, and my only job is to just do my best.
Do my part.
GO GET MY LIFE.
We were wired to be creative for a reason.
Go create.
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