Anything else doesn’t matter. Seven Life Lessons while planning our wedding

81 days. 81 days until I marry my best friend.

I remember kneeling in the pews of St. Johns Church at 8 praying for “a good husband and healthy, smart, talented kids.” 

Somewhere along the way, in adulthood, I started to wonder where God was. Did He hear me? 

I don’t know if others can relate, but my life has rarely been on my timeline. And every time I think it’s late, I look back in retrospect and realize it’s right on time.

Will and I met at an ordained time. 

When I moved back to Maryland, it was a tough adjustment. I wrote a blog when I was in Australia where I wrote about my epiphany of “there has to be more than this.”

For me, I think those years were a reckoning. A reckoning, where one single line became my life mantra: go get your life.

I didn’t feel like I was living it. 

I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to be living. It just didn’t feel like mine. 

I needed to take risks. I needed to fail if that’s what it meant. I needed charge forward. I needed to feel like I wasn’t restrained by fear, or past trauma, or anything that wasn’t good. I needed to know at the end of the day, this was my life and my decisions, and I went for it in faith. 

And in those years of taking ownership – accepting adulthood for what it is – I grew up. 

Suddenly a partner wasn’t my focus.

…Oddly, enter Will. 

Also, a man with a lot of growing up to do during those past years, but a man of character because of it. 

This blog isn’t about us, or our love story. 

This blog is about the joy and beauty that weddings sometimes bring out in people. 

That’s sarcasm…. 

…Can you hear it?

I’ve had an amazing and joy filled experience wedding planning. It’s been fun to share with my mom, and I’ve had gracious and unexpected help from so many. 

Will and I decided not to have a bridal party, yet both of our closest friends are still planning bachelor and bachelorette parties (some of the things we didn’t want people to feel obligated to). 

The people who love us, are showing up. Not because they have to, but because they want to.

We are so grateful. 

But there are always a few. 

I’ve been committed to giving no energy or attention to those few. 

And this blog isn’t about sharing details, because at the end of of the day I’m not interested in blaming. 

Blaming isn’t strong or brave – it gains nothing. Blaming is victimization. 

I’m interested in personal growth.

So, here’s what I’ve learned from those few:

• Anything bad being thrown your way – just don’t take it personally.
  • People’s judgments say more about them, than you.
  • People sometimes seek to hurt in attempt to heal themselves.
  • Happy people are too invested in their own lives. They usually don’t try to bring negative things to yours.

• The people who really love you, always show up.

• There is always so much more good than bad. Remain grateful.

And the biggest reminder of all. The thing that sometimes makes me hate weddings because this gets lost.

The reason.

I’ve waited for Will on God’s time, and I know that he’s my person.

The only real and honest truth about our wedding, is that everything is a celebration of two people’s decision to join a covenant under God, surrounded by the people who love us and want good for us. 

Anything else, doesn’t matter.